Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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