You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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