i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
