Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
