Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I didn't shave. On purpose
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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