dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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