Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
