Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize