A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
did you just send me my own nude
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
