I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
