I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
