I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
