he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize