I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
