dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
