UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
