my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
