i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
