Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
