i think my tv is drunk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
