I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
