I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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