I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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