I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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