how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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