She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
