i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
