hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
