I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
