haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
