she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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