have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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