so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
