I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
