I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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