Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
