Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
