Green mimosas i think yes
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
