I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
