dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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