Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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