Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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