insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize