whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
