I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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