Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
