I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
