If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize