At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
