do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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