That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
