if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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