We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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