those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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