I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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