You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
