What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
