their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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