My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
