Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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