Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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