whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
