YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
