Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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